Wednesday, November 11, 2009


sick

I just passed my license. I am contemplating taking my bike license. And there's a whole lot of things I have yet to do. I have yet to go riding with all of my friends. I have yet to accompany mom to Bedok Reservoir. And don't even get me started about getting the Air Max shoes that I wanted. I have yet to tell my friends of how much an ass they are but I love them all the same. And more!!

Sigh. I have yet to do all that and I can feel like my life is ending already. So that you guys know how I will be going down, I will publish the story.

I was going home after meeting idiotic Salty. Damn was I feeling lethargic. Dad called me when he reached home, to tell me I can already use the car. I was thinking since there is a car, there is no reason for me not to swing by Khai's house and meet her and Hilmi for a bit. And so I took the car and met them.

That's when it all goes down. First, she told me a piece of news which was frighteningly untrue(ok it was due to mis-communications). It was constantly on my mind till I pieced the pieces together and told her she got the wrong person, and she agreed. But that was just the beginning.

Secondly(the deciding factor), she happened to have just finished her 'baking class' when I met her, so she had cupcakes with her. She insisted I took one, but I was wary. But to refuse would be an insult so I took it.

Totally forgetting it was from Khai, I ate it. And I can feel her rat's poison taking effect on my body. I'm getting weaker by the second. My face is greenish pale, and my breaths are labored. So this will be my last entry. Do take care and I do love you all, too.

Neh, the cupcake was great. Thanks buncit.





Sunday, November 08, 2009


My Crucible

Part 1.
Brother told me dad only allowed him his solo drive after some months. So the happy-recently-passed me felt like being splashed with cold water. It was expected, but I didn't exactly think it would be a few months.

Yesterday, I drove my parents to have breakfast at Bedok Reservoir. It was my 2nd time driving with them. I entered the carpark and dad just told me to literally go straight into the lot upfront, headfirst. So I did. When we returned, birds' poop was just everywhere. So after dropping mom at I forgot where, dad and me went to Shell's carwash. It was a long queue.

I was texting when dad asked me about Hilmi(idk which part of me looks like I text long msgs to anthr guy). Strangely enough, Hilmi phoned me some 10 minutes later. Telepathy I guess. Haha. My dad then asked me whether I will be going out later in the day. I said maybe, and he offered me my solo drive.

I felt like getting out of the car, and play with the water those guys were spraying all over the car. I get the offer on my 2nd drive while my bro waited a few months(to his credit, he got his license in 2 months, and on his first TP test. That I can't beat.)?!! Life couldn't get better.






My Crucible

Part 2.
Under the overpass near TMart's Esso, I stopped for a red light. When it turned green, I waited for a liiiiitle while and lookout for anyone beating the red light. Clear. As I accelerated with my neighboring car, a white fucking car(obviously beating the red after 3 secs) honked and sped pass in front, some 1.5 metres away.

I managed to brake hard in time, more credits to instincts(the situation whereby you are walking and you suddenly realize there a cockroach. of course you would stop dead in your tracks) than experience. Damn that was real close. I was stirred after that. Big time. My mind, being as fast as my heartbeat, reasoned that if I did bang that darned car, I wouldn't be driving solo for atleast another 3 months. We stopped somewhere for me to catch my breath, smoke, basically calm me down, before continuing the drive.

Hell of a first solo. It wasn't my mistake. If any, you should applaud me for being able to break in time.





Thursday, November 05, 2009


Sigh. I thought I fared well. He told me to sit in the office and he went off. I thought back of all the effort I've put in and convinced myself not to worry. After all that, this gotta be it. I did all that needed to be done, and more. I really couldn't see anyway I could have done things differently. 7 months of pure hard work. This should be it.

I buried my head in my hands, confident but stirred. I could feel my heart thumping hard. My legs were tapping away and I forced myself still. I uttered whatever prayers I knew and thought of my parents who have been supporting me through this. I can't afford to fail them yet again. But deep down, I knew I couldn't fail myself any further. My ego is seriously bruised cause I don't usually fail. Flunking the same test twice in a row was heartbreaking enough. I can't keep doing this.

I glanced at my drop-dead-gorgeous(yes you've heard it before) watch and noticed it was barely a minute since he left, but in all honesty, it felt like a lifetime. When he turned and started to approach me, I knew that was it. Make or break. His face didn't betray any emotions/thoughts he might have. All I could do was wait for him to cover that 5 meters distance between us.

I put up a pained face. The face you have when you are suppressing a bad stomach ache? Yea that one. Not cause I believe it will make any difference in the results, but my heart really was just aching from the possibilities of the result. He handed me a slip of paper, but I didn't dare to look. My eyes were transfixed on him. Maybe he understood what I was going through, cause he told me the results verbally.

There wasn't any drama, no cliches, no words of comfort. He simply said "you passed". After double-checking my papers, I almost jumped for joy. I thanked him and walked out with a barely-containable smile across my face.


I would like to thank all those who convinced me when my confidence wavered, who motivated me when I was down, who sent me to SSDC when I was in a rush for pracs, and even those who simply told me to try again.

Never stop trying.





Tuesday, November 03, 2009


Morning babies.

Time check : 0810

SERIOUSLY!! My streak of weird dreams is back. I think I will have some good news for Sunil soon. Hahah but seriously, some of the dreams are creepy crawling. No wait, that's Holowitz from Big Bang Theory.

And I still don't get why certain people of the opposite gender must paint such an ugly impression of men just cause they met jackasses, jerks, etc. I bet my ass that if aliens read our blogs, they would be thinking we(men) are the 'tyrants' of Earth. It literally shows your mind is still at that level. I get the feeling you will even blame the kerb you trip over.

There's a lady doing aerobics across my block, level 5. No I wasn't peeking, my eye just happened to catch something bobbing up and down. Heheh. And I am willing to bet she's following those aerobic shows that airs every morning. Judging from how energetically she is jumping, I don't think she's of age. And aerobics for your age group? Seriously miss?!! My gawd!!!!! You are better off sweating in your sleep.

Face your fears. Head on.





Monday, November 02, 2009


Dreams

I will not leave an opening. I will not crack. I will not cower. I will beat this.





Thursday, October 29, 2009


school

School is tiring me, I swear. Okay no, I won't swear. I just feel so lazy to attend school mainly cause I start very early for all three days. I start at 8 for 2 days, and 9 for 1. AND!!! The freaking problem with living a couple of busstops away from school is that when the bus reaches my stop, it is freaking packed with people(only when I start at 8 tho). Bloody menses man.

And the other reason is that I have to wake up eaaaarrlllyyy!! Which pretty much requires me to go to bed early. WHICH! I often don't, so I go to school all sleepy and tired. During the journey to school, I even sometimes curse myself for staying up late. Sigh. So do you now see how depressing my life is?

Don't tell my mum, but I have yet to attend any lectures ever since school started.





Monday, October 26, 2009


I just lost my train of thought. Later keh babies.





Saturday, October 24, 2009


Laziness

The net is always buzzing with activity slamming sportsmen/athletes who cry after losing a game/match. Some people choose to view guys who cry as a puss, but it really is fine to cry for something you are passionate about. And they obviously are passionate about their individual fields of expertise, so when they do lose, crying is totally acceptable(considering they've trained super hard for months on end just for that one match/game). I mean you would cry(publicly/privately) if a family member passed away right?

I pity the people who needs to pick apart the athletes who cry just to show that they are tougher than the athletes are. They just never had anything worthy in their lives to cry for.

School started this week but out of my 3 days, I only attended 1. I thought I would take the opportunity to absent myself since there wasn't attendance for the first and last week of a semester. Sigh. I have to start attending school next week. Sobs.





Wednesday, October 21, 2009


Muay Thai prt2

After days and days of reading, I have successfully conquered another blog. His fight name is Zig Zach and he's someone I look up to as a fighter. His blog was worth 3 years of posts. It covered a bit on his personal life, and a whole lot more as a fighter fighting out of Singapore. The fights he had all over the world(including the Contender Asia series), his thoughts of representing S'pore and how nice Thai trainers are. So pretty much a blog to read if you a fan of MT.

And it only got me more fired up to sign up for classes. But since I have something big coming my way, I just can't sign up soon. I have to wait 3 more weeks before hitting the pads again. Oh well, plenty of time to ready myself then. But I'm really, really, really, really excited.